A Life With No Meaning
by TheGeekNextDoor
Summary: Life… what is the meaning? Each person has their own answer and for me…. it is love. "My name is Esme Platt; I’m 24 and am engaged to the most handsome, rich, man in all of the town where I live, so I’m told." Esme/Carlise ALTERNATE VERSION
1. Part of Died As Well

…Chapter One…

Life… what is the meaning? Each person has their own answer and for me…. it is love.

My name is Esme Platt; I'm 22 and am engaged to the most handsome, rich, man in all of the town where I live, so I'm told.

Charles Hawkins has his moments in my eyes where, yes, he is the most sweet and loving I know. But those moments are outnumbered by the ones where all I want to do run… Run far away as fast as I can…

Charles' father owns the oil drilling company outside of town. Charles is set up to run the company when his father passes. Most women would kill for one day with him let alone to be engaged to him.

You see, it's an arranged marriage in my eyes…

My mother and father had a heavy load: raising three children, paying the bills by balancing two jobs each and more. With me being the oldest child, I took the responsibility of taking care of my younger brother, Anthony, and sister, Lilly, they were twins. Every morning I would rise at the first sign of daylight to make my parents each lunch, they never asked me to, I just did. In fact they never asked me to do anything, I did everything for love. They would each give me a kiss going out the door as I handed them their lunches and told them to have good day.

After that I would go into the kitchen and start breakfast. I loved seeing Anthony and Lilly's faces every morning when they would come into the kitchen to find the perfect breakfast at the table: Oatmeal, an orange or apple, and Toast plus, when we were lucky we would even get jam! Yes, not the usual things one thinks of when describing the _perfect breakfast_, but to our little family, it was.

As the day went on I would play with Anthony and Lilly, making sure they each were happy as can be. Then when school came around I would send them off after breakfast and somehow manage to get myself to school on time, how I did I still don't know. I'd meet them in front of their school everyday when it ended and we would all walk home listening to how each other's day was. I would then make dinner every night as Anthony and Lilly sat by the window watching for the return of our parents. By the time dinner was done, I would here the same, "Esme here comes Mommy! Here comes Daddy!" from the two of them as they jumped up and down opening the door and running outside. Mother and Father would come in exhausted every night, but somehow they still held smiles and hugged each of us as tight as they could.

Every day and night the same routine: Breakfast, school, Anthony and Lilly, make dinner. Sometimes I'd just lay awake at night, dreaming of a place where mother and father would have to work everyday, where we could all be together happy with no worries. I would hear mother and father late at night sometimes talking in the kitchen, trying to figure out ways to bring in more money, trying to find ways to help us children. I wouldn't even sleep some nights; I'd just lay there imagining, or reading. I'd read stories about far away places where people fell in love on every street corner, where money didn't matter, where all that mattered was love…

I dreamed of a day where I would find my prince charming and he would help me help my family because he loved them too. In my dreams I would be grown up so to speak. I would see him in my dreams, he never changed… tall, beautiful auburn eyes I could get lost in, blonde hair, and he loved me. I would tell about him in my dairy, recording every detail of every dream, pictures and all. Every dream would be different, a different adventure with him, but those were just dreams, how foolish I was to believe love like that existed outside my books and dreams…

I'll never forget that night… I'll never forget that night… It was late January; I had just started dinner as Anthony and Lilly were running to the front room. A storm had just come in earlier that evening: blustering winds, pelting rain, and the occasional thunder in the far distance and— I can't even think about it any more… I just… can't… that night my father died… a part of me died as well. I told myself, _forget the fairytale dreams, forget dreams of a better place, forget love_…

Here I am, twelve years later. I last twelve years are really just a big blur, I remember giving up on doing things for myself and focusing on my mom and siblings. I remember my mom struggling more and more, I remember turning down a scholarship to stay in my home town to help around, I don't remember the last time I made a decision for myself.


	2. The Wedding Day

…Chapter 2….

I didn't even get to choose who I married, my mother had told always hinted how "Charles is such a sweet boy, and did you know he's rich Esme?" And "What's that sweet Charlie doing tonight? I bet he would love to take you to a movie…" and more. She wanted me to marry him because our fathers had been close friends and had decided that it was destined for their first-borns to be married. Unfortunately, that meant me marrying the town golden boy.

I heard a knock on the door and snapped out of my daze, I listened to see who it was.

"Esme?" My mother said from the opposite side of the door.

"Oh come in," I said sweetly.

She opened the door and came in quickly shutting it, "Oh Esme, you aren't even dressed yet! The wedding in half an hour darling!"

"I know, I'm sorry I just—"

"It's okay, I was nervous on my big day too," she laughed picking up my wedding dress off the chair.

I laughed lightly as she handed me the dress, I took it and went over to the changing area as my mother continued talking.

"You should see all the people, everyone in town is here. The Gibbs, The Webb's, The Moureau's, The—"

"Is Lilly and Anthony here?" I interrupted her.

She exhaled, "Yes, of course."

"Did Anthony talk to him yet?"

"Who darling?"

"Charles, he and Anthony had some business to take care of."

"What business would that be?"

I took a deep breath, here we go, "You see, Charles insisted that his brothers all be his groomsmen but I insisted that Anthony be one of them and Charles didn't agree. Anthony said he was aright but I know he wasn't and I really—"

"Oh don't be so silly Esme, this is your wedding day. The happiest day of your life!" she said as I came around the dressing area in my dress and put on my shoes.

She helped me with the vale and then stood in front of the mirror, "Well aren't you a vision," she smiled.

_A vision of defeat, no dreams fulfilled, a life without existence_ I thought.

"Your father would be proud," she continued.

"Thank you," I said sweetly. _If Daddy was here maybe this wouldn't be happening_…

Another knock came on the door, thank god.

"Come in," I said quickly.

Lilly entered, "Mother can I have a moment with Esme?"

My mother nodded and smiled, "Now when it's time I'll send Anthony over!" as she exited.

Lilly closed the door, I dropped my fake smile and gave her the best I could give, she knew how I felt.

I slumped into the chair.

"Esme, you look like… well I can't tell what you look like with all this vale in your face," she laughed.

I laughed as she moved the vale away from my face.

"You're a vision of white," she teased trying to move it all.

"Leave it to you to cheer me up," I smiled and laughed.

I stood up, "There you go," she said, "Now that's my big sis." She said hugging me.

I laughed.

"You don't have to lie to me Esme," she said bluntly.

"What?"

"I know you don't want this."

I looked in the mirror.

She continued, "I know my sister, and I know that Charles is not her tall, sweet, blonde prince charming."

"What are you talking about?" _I knew exactly what she was talking about._

"I know you know. I bet you still dream about him, coming and saving you from all this."

I laughed, "That was all just a dream Lilly, this is real life and sometimes we have to sacrifice. I'm happy here." No I'm not…

"No you're not."

I exhaled, "Lilly not now, I'm getting married today to the most handsome, rich, man in all of the town," I faked a smile.

"No, the biggest pain in the ass in all of the town," she said.

"Lilly!"

"What? It's true!" she laughed.

I playfully slapped her arm.

"Maybe he isn't the best man in the world, but he'll have to due."

"What happened to the sister who loved fairytales, who dreamed of taking care of her family, who loved love."

I looked down for a moment and then back up quickly to put my vale over my face, "That girl is long gone. She left a long time ago."

"You can still be that way Esme. You can run," she put her hands on my shoulders, "Run away to some new town and start over, maybe meet this prince charming and—"

"It doesn't matter Lilly! I can't run from this. This is life! I have to face it!" I looked away, "You don't understand!"

"Esme, I don't care what you do today, just know that whatever you do decide. Anthony and I are here for you," she said quietly heading for the door.

"Do you ever miss him?" I asked without looking back.

She walked back over to me, she knew exactly who I was talking about, "Everyday," she looked down and then back up to me as I turned around, "I wish everyday he'd he back. I wish I could hug him once more, tell him I love him."

We hugged tightly, she continued, "He's sitting up there watching us evry second, and I know he's proud."

"It's about time," I said wiping away a tear.

"I'll go get Anthony," she replied heading for the door. She turned around right before the door, "Esme, just answer me one question."

I nodded.

"Do you love Charles?"

I stalled, _Did I love him? Like I should, no. _I didn't know what to say.

"DO whatever you feels right Esme." And with that she was out of the room.

I fell to my knees crying, _what was the point of any of this? _


	3. 1 Year Later: A New Arrival and Journey

…Chapter 3…

…1 Year Later…

"Where's my boy?" I heard Charles saying as the doctor let him into the room.

"Charles how do you know it isn't a girl," I laughed trying to lighten him up. Why do I even try?

"Because I just do," he smirked trying to make a joke.

"Well," I said looking to the little bundle in my arms, "His name is William Edwin."

He took him into his arms, I held my breathe in, Charles was so rough with everything that I was terrified of him holding my child, yes my child not ours. When I told Charles that I was pregnant, I didn't expect much, but he still stunned me. All he kept saying was that it was going to be a big strong boy like himself. He didn't even care about his wife or his child really.

"He's gonna be a big strong boy like his daddy," he laughed handing me back William.

I held him close to me. The nurse came in to check on us, "What a beautiful boy, what did you decide to name him?"

Before I could get out a word, Charles started, "William Edwin Hawkins."

"Very nice, strong name."

"Thought of it myself," he said trying to look tough.

What?! I thought. I'd decided on the name months ago and argued with him about it for months.

The nurse finished up and left the room.

"I've gotta go tell the boys. Ha-ha I'm a father. I'll come back tomorrow before work," he then kissed me on the forehead and left quickly.

I rolled my eyes as he left and let out a breath of relief since he finally was gone. It was just my little boy and me now… I looked down to him, sleeping peacefully. "William Edwin… the best boy in my life," I smiled as he took hold of my finger.

I'd been contemplating to leave soon, and I don't just mean leave the hospital. I mean leave this town, this life all behind. I could runaway to somewhere new. Somewhere where no one knew us, and we could start all over. That's when I decided, looking at William and his fragile little porcelain body, I would leave, as soon as possible. I'd need help from Lilly and Anthony but we could do it…

"It's gonna be just me and you William, don't you worry one bit. We're gonna find a little house, in a city with grass and trees and everything this little town doesn't have…" I smiled to myself. This could work…

Then as if on cue, the door opened and in walked Anthony and Lilly.

I smiled instantly.

"Hey you," Lilly said sweetly coming over and hugging me.

"I was just thinking about you two," I said hugging them both.

"And I was just thinking about you two." Lilly said pointing to William and I.

"It's a boy, told you so," Anthony laughed nudging Lilly. She smirked and smiled to me.

"His name is William Edwin," I said happily.

They both nodded in approval.

"He is gorgeous Esme, you should be proud."

"He's gonna be a ladies man, I can tell, just like his uncle," Anthony laughed.

We all laughed, "What uncle are you talking about?" I teased.

Anthony blew it off, "Hey we passed you know who in the hallway, I swear, I just want to kill that guy every time I see him. Especially with the way he treats you," Antony said standing up for me. I smiled.

Lilly asked, "… What did Charles have to say?"

"That he was going to be a big strong boy," I said imitating Charles, "But he won't see that."

Anthony and Lilly both looked at me confused.

"Wait, you mean…" Lilly said.

"… Yes, I've been contemplating it for months now and the minute I say this baby, I knew. I have to go, for both our sakes."

"We'll help you Esme," Anthony said sweetly.

"When can you leave the hospital?" Lilly asked.

"The doctor hasn't said yet, but hopefully before tomorrow morning," I replied.

"I'll go find out," Anthony said.

I stopped him, "Anthony, be careful. Charles knows a lot of people in this town and we wouldn't want the wrong person hearing about this…"

"Of course," he smiled and left the room.

Lilly stood next to me smiling.

"You want to hold your nephew?" I smiled.

"I thought you'd never ask," he joked as I handed him to her.

"Hey there little guy," she said holding him, "I'm Auntie Lilly," she beamed.

I laughed a little.

She looked at me and sat down beside me on the bed. "I'm proud of you."

"For what?"

"For being so brave. You're the bravest woman I know. If I was you I would have ran at the alter from… him. You're doing the right thing," she said taking my hand in hers.

"It's not gonna be easy," I said.

"Is anything ever easy anymore?" She laughed.

"Nope," I laughed.

"… So where are you planning on going?"

I laughed nervously, "… Far way from here."

"Hey, maybe you can find prince charming," she teased handing me back William who was still fast asleep.

"I don't know about that," I laughed.

The door opened as the doctor came in with Anthony.

"Good morning Mrs. Hawkins," the doctor boasted, "How are you two feeling?"

"Pretty good now," I smiled at Lilly and Anthony.

"Well," he said looking over the charts and standing next to the bed, "I think we can have you released by tomorrow morning, maybe even tonight."

We all smiled.

He continued, "Should I have someone call Mr. Hawkins and tell him that you'll—"

"No!" The three of us said in unison.

"I mean, my brother and sister will be taking me home because Charles has work late tonight and all day tomorrow. But it would much easier if we could go home tonight," I said trying to cover for the sudden outburst.

"Alright, then I'll tell the nurses to have everything ready as soon as possible. We'll tell you when we know what time," he smiled closing my chart and heading out of the room.  
"That was close," Lilly said letting out a breath.

"Yeah it was," Another replied.

"Anthony can you go out to the car and get the bags?" Lilly asked.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot," he smiled heading out.

I looked confused at Lilly, "Whose bags?"

"Yours."

"Huh?"

"We had a feeling this might be the night, so knowing when Charles would be gone, we used the emergency key to get into the house and get you two some things," she smiled.

"Oh Lilly," I said hugging her, "I owe you two so much."

"No you don't, you practically raised us so if anything we owe you."

"Wait, did you make sure he would be able to tell you'd been there?"

"Yes, of course. There's nothing to worry about for tonight. Just relax. This time tomorrow you two will be long gone. He'll never see it coming…"

I relaxed for the first time in forever and closed my eyes, I was safe… Safe from him… he'd never see us again. And if he did, he'd have hell to pay. This baby was mine, and if he thought he had any part in him except a last name, then he was wrong.

***

Within a few hours, the nurse came in happily, "Good News Mrs. Hawkins, we finished everything up. You're baby seems as perfect as they come."

"So we can take her?" Lilly asked.

She nodded and closed the door so no one outside could hear, "I won't fill out the papers for a few more hours Esme, and even then I'll say someone anonyms checked you out."

"Thank you so much Elizabeth," I smiled.

"Of course, Esme. I've known you for a long time, and I also know that Charles is not the man everyone sees him to be."

Elizabeth understood everything. She had known Charles as long I we had, and had seen what he had done to his past _women_ behind closed doors. She felt that me living with William was the best thing to do.

Lilly had already helped me get dressed earlier so that we could leave as son as possible.

I got out of bed, with the help of the three of them and stood up to hold William.

"Here ya go," Anthony said wheeling over a wheel chair.

"A wheelchair?" I asked.

"Just sit down," he laughed.

So I did, and with that we were out of the room, and out of the hospital, one step closer to freedom…


	4. Esme's Dream or Future

**…Chapter 4…**

We pulled into the train station; Anthony parked and ran around the car to open my door for me while Lilly got the bags.

I help William close in my arms; it was beginning to get cold.

We walked around to the station, "Well, this is it…" I said trying to sound confident.

Lilly hugged me tight, "You're the bravest woman I know Esme, don't you forget that. Don't you forget us, alright?"

Anthony hugged me, "We're gonna miss ya here sis. Both of you," he said smiling at William.

I handed William to Lilly to hold one last time before we left, "Oh you little hunk, I'm gonna miss you," she said almost crying as she held him close and handed him to Anthony.

"Alright little ladies man, don't forget you always got your favorite uncle back here. And take care of your mother for us, she deserves a good guy in her life, he smiled hugging him and handing him to me.

We heard the train whistle and the roaring machine approaching.

I looked at the direction it was coming then back at Lilly and Anthony, hugging them both one last time.

"Here's your ticket Esme," Anthony said handing it to me.

I took it, "Where does it go?"

"Far away, just like you wanted," he smiled.

The train whistled again as it approached us.

Anthony picked up my bags and took them to the train as fast as he could.

Only a few others were getting on the train as I did, "I owe you two everything in the world," I said almost crying.

"No, no, no. We just want to help you two get what you truly deserve, now go start a new life."

"Be happy Esme, and don't forget to write!" Anthony hollered as I got on the train.

I found my seat as we were leaving the station. I looked out my window and waved one last time to Lilly and Anthony as I watched them get farther and farther away.

Like I said, not many other were on the train, it was eleven o'clock at night.

William was barely awake in my arms, he was the perfect baby. So quiet and sweet. So thankfully unlike his father. I relaxed in my seat for a moment, taking in the feeling of freedom once more.

I reached in my littler bag to see what they had packed.

This bag was just the things for William plus a few things that they knew would pass time on the train for me.

I found some new clothes for William, a few small toys for him; I would have to call Anthony and Lilly to thank them for those. But then I saw something wrapped in the bottom, I pulled it out slowly and read the note on it:

_**Esme,**_

_**I wish you all the happiness in the world. You deserve it. I know that since father died, you changed. You lost some things along the way that I believe will help you now. I've included some small reminders to help. I hope you find what you've been dreaming of, and don't forget to call and write!**_

_**Forever Family,**_

_**Lilly**_

I slowly opened the little package to reveal that it was a book, with the words: _Esme's Diary_ on the front of it.

I laughed lightly, where did she find this? I wiped a lone tear away as I opened it slowly and say the first page.

I couldn't believe my eyes; I flipped through the whole book seeing all the colorful pictures and stories of my vibrant imagination from so many years ago. I sat the book safely in my bag and decided that it would be best for me to get some sleep. I leaned my seat into the sleep position and held William tightly as I slept soundly, safely, and happily for the first time in two years…

**Esme's Dream**

"Esme! Esme! Where are you?" I heard him exclaim…

It was dark, pitch black. I was panicking. _I have to get away…_

"Esme! I swear, I'll find you if it's the last thing I do!"

_No… Charles? It couldn't be_… but I know it truly is.

I have to find my way out…

I look down to my arms, where's William?

I immediately begin trying to shift through the darkness to find out where I am.

"I hear you Esme! You can run but you can't hide!"

I cringe at the sound of his voice, but I focus on running. Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. _No!_

I immediately turn around to speak but they put their hand on my mouth.

"Esme!" I hear Charles yell far away.

_Wait, if Charles is over there then who's here?_

"I'm here Esme," the voice says, "It's okay now, follow me." He says taking my hand in his and guiding me through darkness. His voice is angelic, I wish I could see who he was… his hand is like ice but it doesn't bother me.

We finally make it to a door and outside. I can feel the cold winter breeze, the smell of pine in the air. I still can't see my savior but he keeps going.

"Who are you?" I ask quietly.

"Esme it's me," he says.

_Well who's me? I want to know who you are! Where's William! _I feel as if I know him from somewhere… from a distant dream…

I see a light in the distance, a cabin! Thank God! I think as we run as fast as I ever have in my life, inhumanly fast until we reach the porch finally.

I look up him, we're on the porch, there's a small light so I can see now. I gasp at the sight, he's beautiful…

"It's okay now," he says hugging me and holding my head to his chest, "He won't find you here. I'll make sure of it."

It's as if he knows me, and I should know him…

I just nod my head playing along, "Is William okay?" I saw looking up into his deep auburn eyes.

"What?" he asked confused.

"William, my son, is he okay?" I begin panicking.

"Esme… William died two months ago," he says looking into my eyes.

"What?" I say breathlessly.

"Remember, the accident," his eyes are filled with emotion, he's telling the truth... but how?

"No… No, this can't be," I say quietly as I put my head back on his chest, I feel so safe there for some odd reason, as if I'd known him forever.

"It's okay, Esme. I'm right here love," he coed to me as he opened the door and helped me into the cabin.

I woke with a start; I looked down to see William sound asleep in my arms, just as I'd left him. _Oh thank God_… I thought hugging him tightly. I looked outside to see that the sun was rising. A man walked by asking all the passengers if I needed anything.

"Excuse me sir," I asked him as he walked up.

"Yes mam."

"Do you know how long it is until we arrive in Ashland?"

"Quite soon miss, within the hour," he smiled.

"Thank you," I smiled as he continued down the isle.

That dream… it was so… so real… that man… he seemed so familiar but why? I thought as hard as I could. I think and I think until something hits me… he was tall, auburn eyes, blonde hair… I grabbed the book out of my back and flipped through my old drawings, I gasped. It was him… prince charming… but he seemed so real. So real for a fragment of my imagination.

For some reason, it triggered another memory… I was sixteen… Anthony had climbed the tree…

**7 Years Earlier**

"Esme! Esme! Esme!" Lilly came in screaming.

"What is it?" I said jumping up.

"It's Anthony!"

I ran outside as she led me to the big tree in our front yard.

I looked up to see none other than Anthony in the tree.

"Anthony Platt! Get down!"

"Look it! I'm a monkey!" he said jumping around making monkey noises.

"Anthony you could get hurt! Get down please!"

"Come and get me!" he teased.

I looked at Lilly and then the tree. I then began climbing until I reached the top where Anthony was.

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.

"Getting you down."

"No!" he laughed jumping around more and laughing.

"Anthony please!" I said trying to move towards him, "Come on down and we—" suddenly I moved my foot to find that there was no branched below me. In fact nothing except, hard unforgiving dirt and scattered grass.

I held my leg in pain, Lilly and Anthony both gasped as he slid down and came to my side.

I couldn't even speak it hurt so badly.

"Esme!"

"You killed her Anthony! You killed her!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

I stopped them by grapping Lilly's arm.

They both screamed.

"See I told you I didn't kill her!"

Luckily we had an aunt who lived by, who took me to the emergency room where my mother met with us.

"Esme Platt! What were you thinking?! Going up in a tree like that!" my mother exclaimed hysterically, "You could have landed on you hand!"

"I'm sorry mother I just—"

"I don't care, we'll talk when we get home. You two didn't have anything to do with this would you?" she said looking at the twins.

"No, they had nothing to do with it," I said immediately taking the blame.

Anthony looked up in shock as our Aunt took them away as my mother and I went back to a room in the emergency room.

A nurse came in and examined my leg carefully, which just caused more pain. I hadn't stopped crying for what felt like forever. I sat back with my eyes closed trying to compose myself while the nurse was gone. The door opened and I sat up trying to stop crying.

I gasped at the site, the doctor was so handsome, like an angel, those eyes that hair, oh he was just—

"Mrs. Platt," he said shaking my mothers hand, she obviously also liked what she saw.

He then looked to me and shook my hand, "And you must be Esme. I'm Dr. Cullen."

_Dr. Cullen_, even his name was angelic… I couldn't speak.

"You've broken your leg," he said calmly, "The nurses will be casting you up and we'll have you on crutches and out of here in no time," he smiled. _Oh his smile was incredible_….

I just nodded.

"Thank you Dr. Cullen," my mother said nudging me.

"Oh, yes thank you Dr. Cullen," I laughed.

I snapped of it by the sound of the whistle, I looked outside to see that we were approaching the station.

I looked see William now wide awake, "Good mourning love," I whispered kissing his forehead.

Why were Dr. Cullen and prince charming the same man? Was that dream really a look into my future? That's impossible! Dr. Cullen would have aged by now; maybe it's just a quincidence… maybe…


	5. 6 Weeks Later: The Most Beautiful Woman

**Chapter 5**

**Carlisle's POV**

He was seventeen years old and on the verge of death, Spanish Infulenza. I was a doctor at the time and took care of him and his mother. I told myself never to become attached to a patient, or any human at that. The night they came in, I knew there was something about them, something different. One night, I came in to check on them.

Edward was asleep, but his mother was wide awake. I went to her bedside, her fever was raging, I knew she wouldn't make it through the night...

She fought it out as long as she could, she looked up to me, "Save him!"

I took her hand in mine, "I'll do everything in my power."

The fever was taking over, she was going, "You must," she rasped, "You must do everything in _your_ power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward."

And with that, her vibrant emerald eyes slowly closed, her grip loosened on my hand. She was gone...

I looked over at her son, he didn't look much better, only hours until his time would come if that.

When Elizabeth, the mother, looked at me in last few moments, it was almost like she knew my dark secret, ,maybe she did. Everything in my _power_... I knew what I had to do.

I quietly took Elizabeth down to the morgue first, then him. The hospital was so full, no one even noticed that he was still barely breathing...

I took him out the back door, and to my home. I sat in down, his breathing was discenigrating slowly, I checked his pulse, nothing to the untrained eye. If it wasn't for my... power... I would have believed he was dead. What happened next was just a blur...

I examined the wound I'd recieved in London centries ago... I didn't know what exactly tot do so I took a chance. Unforetunetly it left him in excuriating pain, to much pain for one person. I regretted putting him through it, but I'm not sorry...

My thoughts were interrpted by the door shutting downstairs. I stood up from my seat and headed for the stairs.

"Edward, I'm heading out!" I hollered going down the stairs putting my jacket on.

"I know," he said coming around the corner.

I laughed lightly, the fact that I never knew when he was reading my mind scared me a little.

"I'll be back late most likely."

"I know," he laughed.

"Edward," I said stopping in front of him, "Maybe it's time for you to find someone."

I 'd been wanting to tell him that forever. Every time we moved it was the same story, he'd stay at the house, hunt, maybe come into town once or twice, but that was all.

"Carlisle maybe it's time for you to find someone," he mocked.

I started to speak but then realized, "You got me there."

"Exactly!" he said as I took my bag and headed for the door.

"Goodbye Edward." I mocked.

I went out the door and headed to the car.

Edward had been seventeen when I... changed him, I was twenty-four. Now, he is seventeen and I am twenty-four, so people think...

I parked in my usual spot at the hospital and went into te emergency room. Only eight in the morning and it's booming with life, I look around for a moment. I put down my bag at the counter as the nurse ran up.

"Dr. Cullen! Dr. Cullen," the nurse said coming up to me, "We've already had accidents, children with broken arms and legs, woman going into labor and "

"Where am I needed?"

"Everywhere, anywhere sir."

I looked at all the charts in her hands.

She continued, "We have 4 doctors on children, 3 on labor and 1 on accidents."

"I'll take accidents," it seemed today they need the most help.

She picked out the chart and handed it to me explaining the patient.

I looked through it as she guided me, " Twenty-three year old female, unconscious with minor injuries to the neck, legs, and left arm. Her son was also in the accident."

"I'll take the son too."

"That's the thing sir," she stopped.

I stopped next to her, "What is it?"

" ...The son, he's not going to make it.... He looks only to be a month old but the mother hasn't woke up. That's why no one has taken the case yet. No one wants to tell her what happened."

"The mother doesn't know yet?" I cringed at the thought, losing your child like that so suddenly. If I lost Edward I don't know what I would do...

"No sir."

"... I'll tell her..."

She led me to the mother's room, I looked in to see the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life...

I looked down at my chart to see the name but nothing was there.

"We don't have a name?"

"No sir, they just brought them in less than an hour ago. She should be waking up soon and we can get more information.

I nodded and went in, the nurse left quickly.

_Who are you?_ I thought to myself. I looked over the chart once more, no sign of anything leading to who she was...

Her eyes suddenly began to open slowly, I closed the chart and went to her side.

She opened her eyes and looked around for a moment, "Where am I?" she rasped holding her head.

"You're in the hospital. You were in an accident this morning but you're going to be O.K."

"The hospital?" she asked confused, "Oh no," she said almost inaudible, "My son, William, is he okay?"

I looked into her eyes, "I... We're doing everything we can to save him..."

"But is he O.K.. I need to know, please, he's all I have."

I couldn't lie to her, "Miss we aren't sure if he's going to make it," I said trying to sound as caring as possible.

"No," she closed her eyes.

I took her hand in mine, "It's going to be okay, we'll help you through it... you had a minor concussion along with a few cuts and bruises. Do you remember anything from the accident?"

She closed her eyes trying to remember, "I... we were just... driving. I was going to a store in town and.... we stopped at the intersection but... I heard a crash and..." she opened her eyes, "I can't... it's to hard," she cried, "I need to see William, please.."

The door opened behind me, I looked to see the nurse, "I'll be right back," I said to the woman and then headed out to talk to the nurse.

"What is it?" I asked.

She bowed her head, "The son sir, he didn't make it... they did everything they could but he was just to little..."

I ran my hand through my hair and nodded opening the door to go back in.

"It's William isn't it?" she asked.

"I'm sorry miss, they did everything they could but he was just too little..." I could barely stand saying it... I was getting attached again, like with Edward and his mother...

She began crying again and put her hands on her face for a moment and then looked at me, "He only a month and a half old. We just moved here after he was born. I came here to protect him and now look what I've done..."

"It's not your fault, you didn't do anything wrong."

"But still, I could have done something, anything to save him..."

"I know what it's like to lose someone too soon... if you need anything, I'm here. Is there anyone I can call for you, family or friends?'

"No," she laughed, "Just me and William."

"What about his father?"

"His father? Oh he... he's not here... I'm Esme Hawkins ," she said trying to smile.

"Well Esme, I'm Dr. Cullen," I said shaking her hand.

We both smiled lightly... _Maybe I could help her_...

After awhile I left her to check on the nurses to see how my patients from the night before were.

By the time I went back to Esme's room, it was empty... she was already gone...

I went to the station, "Excuse me, do you know who discharged Esme Hawkins?"

The clerk searched her papers and then found her, "Yes. She was discharged about fifthteen minutes ago by Dr. Wilson. She was released. Anything else we can do for you Dr. Cullen?"

"No, that's all thank you."

I left the station and walked away slowly... she was gone. _What if she gets hurt again? What if she leaves town? I need to see that face again_... but aI knew I couldn't...


	6. The Waves Were Calling Me

**...Chapter 6...**

…**Esme's POV…**

I barely even realized I'd moved until the taxi was pulling up to the house. I walked up to the house and slowly went in. I shut the door behind me and locked it.

I looked around, the house felt so empty… so cold…

I walked around slowly, _how would I go on?_ Do I go back to Charles? _No, I could never go back to him again… _Do I move again? _No, it was hard enough finding this place let alone moving again and starting all over again by myself…_ Maybe someone could help me? _No, who would want to help me._

Let's face it, I'm cursed. First I runaway from my husband, we come here and I make up this story of how my husband had died after catching a disease, then I try to protect my son and now he's gone… What's the point?

I need help…

I pick up the phone and dial Lilly's home, the phone just rings and rings and rings until I give up.

I hang up and dial Anthony's home, once again, no one answers. I sit down in the darkness. I wish it had been me, no William. He had his whole life in front of him…

The best thing to do is to just move on, forget it all like I'd forgotten everything else. Whenever something bad happened in my life, I forgot about it, I made myself. My father's death, Charles, now this…

_I need to get out, to run…_

I went outside, closing the door behind me. I just started running, I didn't know where I was going, I just knew that I needed to run. I was crying so hard, it was pitch black all around me, no sign of life except the trees and bushes everywhere.

Finally I fell to my knees and cried, "Why him?!" I exclaim to the sky.

"Why now!.. It should have been me! I'm sorry for everything I did! I'm sorry for running from Charles, I'm sorry for not caring, I'm sorry for everything! I just—!.. It should have been me…."

It was dead silent. All that I could hear was the sound of the trees blowing in the breeze and… water?

I stood slowly, suddenly looking around I was hit with memories of the last few weeks: holding William for the first time, watching Charles leave the hospital room, getting on the train, finding the diary, having that nightmare, coming here, finding this house, bringing William out here to calm him… then I remembered…

William loved it out here; it calmed him to hear the trees and water.

I walked forward slowly subconsciously to the edge where the water was…

I looked down, nothing… nothing but the crash of pitch-black waves. I felt so peaceful there, like I could fly… maybe I could… I felt calm, at one with everything, everything except myself.

I looked back to way of the small house, then to cliff I stood on. The waves were calling me; this seemed like the only way to be happy with myself…

* * *

"Edward," I called into the house sitting down my bag and taking off my jacket.

"In here!" he hollered from the other room.

"I'm going to go on a hunt, you want to come?"

"A hunt?" he said coming in, "What's her name?"

"What?" then I remembered, he can hear my thoughts, "Esme, Esme Hawkins."

"Well I think a hunt sounds good, as long as you cheer up… your thoughts too."

I ran upstairs and changed as fast as I could, I needed to hunt, or more specifically run. I always did on days like these, the days when I knew I could have saved a life. The days where I felt guilty, or today, I let the woman o my dreams walk right out, and I could have at least tried to save her son, if only I'd been ten minutes earlier...

Edward and I headed out into the forest and ran out beginning to hunt.

After a few minutes I hear yelling. Suddenly Edward runs up to me and begins to speak but I stop him.

It's a woman yelling, not that far.

_She's not that far away_, I thought.

"What do we do Carlisle?"

_Go home, go straight home. I'll get a closer look..._

Edward thought for a moment and nodded running towards the house.

I then ran towards her voice.

Her breathing pattern was speeding up: she was running, so I ran following her.

Suddenly we came out to a clearing near the cliffs, she was dangerously close to the edge. I stayed back to see what she was doing... she seemed to be thinking, she was crying at first but then she slowly stopped, closed her eyes and--

"Don't do it!" I yelled jumping out from the trees without thinking.

**Esme's POV**

Just start walking and--

"Don't do it!" I hear someone yell.

I open my eyes without turning around.

"Step back," I say quietly to them, "Come any closer and I'll do it."

"Just slowly step back, here," he says coming closer, "Take my hand."

"No, I can't. I have to do this."

"You know, I've been where you're standing. A long time ago I felt like dying was the only way to put myself out of my misery. I talked myself out of it."

"You don't understand," I say as I slightly turn my head to see them… _Dr. Cullen?_

**Carlisle's POV**

She turned around slowly... no, Esme?

"Esme please, step back I can help you. What happened to William, it wasn't your fault," I say calmly.

For a second, she starts to give me her hand, I look at her trying to tell her that it's okay, just step back and we can talk.... But then she stops and looks away.

"I could be with William and my father forever... No more Charles, no more running, no more hiding..." I said quietly looking down to the waves.

"You don't have to end it this way Esme..."


	7. Esme Please, Take My Hand

…**Chapter 7…**

**Esme's POV**

Then I realized, I wasn't crying. I was peaceful. I had to do it, I had to jump. _You wont even feel it, I told myself closing my eyes, next thing you know you'll wake up and have William in your arms and Father at your side_…

"Esme please, take my hand..."

I shook my head no for a second and closed my eyes imagining it, took one last breathe and stepped forward, the next thing I knew I was falling… falling… falling… darkness...

**Carlisle's POV**

"Esme No!" I said jumping towards her... but I was too late... she fell far below to the waves, "Esme!"

_Maybe she's still alive, maybe... no one could survive that fall..._

So I did what my instincts told me to, I went down as quickly as possible down to where Esme had fallen.

She was near the shore; I brought her onto the sand and laid her down gently. She was still breathing, barely. I knew I had to save her, somehow. I picked her up and took her back to the top of the cliff.

I then ran back to the house, "Edward!!" I exclaimed opening the door.

He ran to me, already hearing my thoughts and warnings, "I called the hospital, the ambulance is on its way."

"Thank you."

"Carlisle how are you going to save her?"

"I have an idea..."

"You mean..?" he asked dimly.

"...Yes..." I said almost scared, the only other time I'd even considered putting someone through it was with Edward and we all know how that ended up...

He nodded as I ran back outside and to Esme, thank God I my abilities allow me to run inhumanly fast...

I made it back to her as I heard distant sirens.

"It's okay Esme, if you can hear me hold on. Please..." Said picking her back up into my arms as the ambulance came up.

Two men jumped out, "Dr. Cullen! We got the call and came as fast as possible," one of them said.

"You know me?" I asked as they opened the back doors.

"The man who called said that you had witnessed an incident near the cliffs. He said that you insisted we come as soon as possible."

"Oh of course." _Thank you Edward_.

We got in the van as the second man began driving.

"What happened to her?" the man in the back asked.

"... She slipped. I was talking to her, warning her but she wouldn't listen. We'd been arguing and suddenly she slipped. I went down the path and brought her back up, that's when I told my son to run home and call the hospital."

_Well part of that was true..._

I continued, "We don't need those," I said as the driver turned on the sirens.

I checked her pulse, _here we go Esme_, "She's gone... time of death," I glanced at my watch, "2037."

"We're so sorry sir, if we'd been faster then maybe--"

"It's okay," I interrupted, " I knew she was gone when I got her on shore, I just--"

"It's okay sir."

I looked at his nametag, "Thank you for coming... McKenzie."

"Oh sorry sir, we got so caught up in getting her back to the hospital that we forgot to introduce ourselves," he said, "I'm McKenzie and he's Francis."

The man driving waved lightly.

"Sir she's bleeding pretty bad, do you want me to bandage her up?"

I looked at her, she was bleeding... pretty badly... I hadn't even realized it. I guess I was so focused on getting her to safety that my mind overlooked it.

"Yes, thank you," I responded helping him.

Her leg was broken, arm was crushed almost completely, her head was bleeding, plus a few other cuts and bruises.

This is how you wanted to go Esme? I couldn't say I didn't understand... many years ago, a little before Edward came along...

"Dr. Cullen we're to here," Francis said stopping by the back doors.

* * *

I did the same thing with Esme as I had done with Edward, I quietly took her into the morgue, got her paperwork from McKenzie and Francis telling that I would tale care of it for them, and within the hour I had snuck her out and brought her back to the house.

I opened the door, "Edward!" I hollered.

No answer, he must have known I was coming and left.

I went to the couch and slowly laid Esme down. I ran to get my medical bag; I took a second look at her. Nothing in this bag could save her... I checked her pulse and listened for a heartbeat. After a moment I faintly heard a heartbeat.

"Hold on tight Esme, this is going to hurt..."

I closed my eyes, just do the same this you did with Edward... it will be fine.

I knelled down and slowly bit into her neck...


	8. Day 1: She'll thank you, I know I did

…**Chapter 8…**

Her body stiffened, I waited for her to scream but nothing happened. I stopped breathing, _Carlisle, remember who you are_. I closed my eyes and did my best to control myself…

I let go and stood back, the bandages we're barely doing anything, then I remembered, _venom_…

I took a second; prayed for strength remembering that I was doing this to save her, not hurt her. I then opened my eyes looking at her, what needs it the most?

Her arm… I knelled down again over her and bit into her arm where the most damage was…. I almost couldn't let go….

With Edward it had been different, yes I almost couldn't let go but with Esme it wasn't just from my animal instincts…. Her scent alone was intoxicating, making it harder for me to remember that I didn't want to hurt her…

I quickly went to her broken leg, making it as quick as possible… I stood back, her head had stopped bleeding, now what? I knew how strong the venom was… I knew it would work, it had to…

I stood back trying to bring myself back to reality, it had all happened so fast… I ran my hand threw my hair; all that's left to do is wait… I started breathing once more.

That's when I realized, I was covered in blood… her blood, I breathed in as my instincts began taking over…

"No, no…" I said trying to compose myself, I looked at Esme lying there unconscious, "You can do this Carlisle."

I calmed down and went upstairs to clean up before something worse happened. After that I went back downstairs and cleaned up Esme. All that blood from such a little person. If the fall hadn't killed her, the blood loss would have…

I rebandaged her wounds. I had to cover them; it was too much seeing what she went through…

She was so peaceful, so much different than Edward. She was in a different state of mind than he had been in.

It was a miracle she didn't break her spine, or worse. She probably saved a lot by landing in water instead of on the sand or rocks…

"Fight hard Esme, it's okay…" I said calmly.

The door opened and Edward came in.

"It's done," he said bluntly coming over.

I nodded, "She's at peace now, but the next few days wont be as easy… I wont go back to the hospital for a few days. I'll stay by her, help her… like I helped you."

"I'll never forget that, it's one of the last things I remember really. It was like hell… but then I would hear this voice, guiding me telling me to fight hard. And when I woke up, it was you. You're a good man Carlisle, a good doctor… a good father too."

"Thank you," I said standing up.

"I'll help you get her upstairs," he said going towards her.

"Wait… can you handle it?"

_Edward don't be a hero, if you sense human blood then just back away…_

"Carlisle I stopped breathing five minutes before I even got here. Remember, breathing holds little purpose to us," he joked.

I laughed lightly going to Esme and slowly picking her up into my arms.

Edward went ahead of me and ran upstairs to the extra room, the only room with a bed. Since we didn't sleep, we found no use for them.

I took her up the stairs and into the room, carefully laying her down.

Edward pulled up the blanket and we did our best to make her comfortable. I brought in a chair from my room and sat near the bed.

"How long until it starts?" Edward asked.

"It's already started, just not the painful part yet…"

***

**Esme's Dream**

I expected to immediately wake up. I expected to open my eyes and see my passed love ones.

_I'm I dead?_ Possibly…

_I'm I alive? _Impossible after that fall…

I waited and waited. Nothing happened.

I heard random sounds: the waves, someone… yelling, sirens, faint voices, one voice stood out…

"It's okay Esme, if you can hear me hold on. Please..."

_Who was that?.. Dr. Cullen?.. No…_

It was completely dark, but not like in my nightmare. I couldn't tell if I was near anything, just darkness. As if I was falling still…

I heard the other voices but I couldn't make them out, I started letting go. I didn't feel pain, but I could tell I was hurt…

My arm was slightly burning, so was my leg and head…

My life started flashing before my eyes, so I thought.

I saw everything: growing up with Lilly and Anthony, being told my father had died, breaking my leg when I was young, meeting Charles, unwillingly marrying Charles, endless nights of Charles' tantrums, finding out I was pregnant with William, running away with William, seeing my brother and sister for the last time, the accident, everything in life was going by so fast…

Then suddenly it all stopped… I heard my last moments playing over in my head once more…

"Just slowly step back, here," he says coming closer, "Take my hand."

"No, I can't. I have to do this."

"You know, I've been where you're standing. A long time ago I felt like dying was the only way to put myself out of my misery. I talked myself out of it."

"You don't understand,"

"Esme please, step back I can help you. What happened to William, it wasn't your fault."

"I could be with William and my father forever... No more Charles, no more running, no more hiding..."

"You don't have to end it this way Esme... Esme please, take my hand..."

Then it stops, everything stops… just darkness, like the falling never ended…

Suddenly I felt like I was moving, fast like in my nightmare, inhumanly fast. I lost track of time, until I heard a faint voice again…

"Hold on tight Esme, this is going to hurt..."

For some reason, the voice calms me. It seems so familiar yet so different.

Then my mind goes straight to it, giving me random images of my childhood, every night drawing and writing in my diary, then on the train… I then realize it…

Prince charming was real… Dr. Cullen… I was supposed to meet him… I wasn't supposed to jump!

He was there to save me, I was so thick headed, even in death or whatever I was, I doubted myself…

He wanted to help; he genuinely wanted to help me…

Suddenly a rush of pain came to my body.

My body stiffened, I wanted to scream in agony but I couldn't, I panicked.

_What's happening?_

The pain was horrible, like nothing I'd felt or heard of…

My neck, my arm, my leg, everything was just burning but not like before. Much worse than before…

I was dead, I had to be, it was hell…

***

And so began the pain and agony, I knew it was coming. I knew it was already happening, but it was not until the next morning that the signs were shown to Edward and I.

The first day was the hardest…

Esme no longer looked peaceful. She began suddenly moving, "Esme, Esme," I said calmly, "It's okay, I'm right here. Listen to me…"

It was the same way with Edward, one minute they would be fine, the next writhing in pain…

What have I done? This isn't right… How does this help her?

"She'll thank you later… I know I did," Edward said coming in.

I looked at him, "I barely remember transforming, but I do remember pain. Edward did I do the right thing?"

"Yes, you did it for all the right reasons. You saved two lives this way."

I looked at him confused.

Edward continued, "Can you honestly say you've been happy with just me all these years? And before that, I've heard your thoughts Carlisle. I know more about you than you know. I know you've been in pain, wondering why you try anymore. I know that every time we move, it gets worse."

"Sometimes it unusual hearing such things from someone who looks seventeen," I laughed lightly, "You're soul is deeper. It's hard… with the work I do, I watch everyday as family's come in, worrying for their loved ones, thanking God when they make it through, and wanting to die when they don't," I looked at Esme, "I want to know what it's like, to love someone like that. To share the love and compassion life brings that I never felt… but this curse, this way we are, conflicts with that."

"It's never to late," Edward said leaving the room.

I looked at Esme; the first day is the hardest, after today only two more…


	9. Our Breed?

…**Chapter 9…**

I gave up on trying to scream, I gave up on trying anything. I'd lost track of how long this had been happening… was it minutes, days, months… I didn't care. Because I knew that no matter how long it had been, I was dead. I didn't go to heaven like I'd wished but why would I go to heaven after a life like mine? I understand the consequences of my actions….

I now live in this state of torture where reality and imagination are together on a very thin line. Nonstop delusions of things that I believe happened in my life but I'm unsure. My memories are becoming distant and harder to recollect…

Suddenly, right as I had begun to relax, it started again…

"Esme! Esme!" a girl yells running to me.

I begin to speak without thinking, as if my body and mind are separate, but it all feels so real…

"Alice! You have to go! Leave me here, I have to sta—" I say out of breath.

"No! I wont leave you!"

"Alice! Listen to me, save yourself…" the girl is crying, I think I am too, I take her face in my hands, "Get the car and drive as far as you can, as fast as you can. Don't stop for anyone."

The girl begins shaking her head _no_ but I hug her tight.

"You can do it, Alice, I love you," _Alice?_

"I love you to Esme," she sobs.

A car pulls up quickly and stops, "Alice!" the driver yells getting out, "Esme, Alice, get into the car and go, Edward is already gone with Bella. Jacob left with Renesemee. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and you two are leaving right now," I recognize the man, _Dr. Cullen? No, it can't be…_

"Carlisle, no!" she yells.

_Carlisle? Who's Carlisle?_

"I'll be fine, both of you leave now," he says pushing us closer to the car.

"No you wont Carlisle! I know, I've seen it! Please—"

"Alice—" he starts.

"What?" I ask.

Carlisle takes a breath, "I'm so sorry Esme, I couldn't tell you... I'm not going t—"

"No! No! Carlisle, you're getting in that car and coming with us! I'm not leaving without you!" I say clinging to him.

He puts his arms around me, "I love you Esme, I always have and I always will."

"Not like this, please, don't go…" I plead.

"I have to, I have to protect my family. I wont let anything happen to you," he kisses me softly.

I don't want to let go; I'm shaking in fear.

He takes me to the opposite side and opens the door.

"I love you Carlisle…"

"Promise me, that you'll be happy. That you'll take care of the family like I know you will, move on from this, forget about me."

"… I can't promise that, I can't live without you…" I'm sobbing now, "Promise me you'll come back, find us. You don't have to do this, you don't have to be the hero."

"I'm not the hero…"

"Promise me Carlisle."

"I… I can't…"

I then hear a voice, "Esme, Esme, can you hear me?" I ignore it…

Carlisle's face changes, "Esme, please go! They can't see you here!"

Carlisle hugs me once more as I kiss him never wanting to let go.

He then runs to the girl and hugs her tightly kissing her on the cheek and then running back where he came from.

"Esme, it's okay…" I hear the voice again.

A rush of pain suddenly comes through my body as I collapse to the ground, Carlisle runs back along with the girl and I see him kneel beside me, "Esme!... Esme!"

My eyes shoot open, "Esme… Esme."

I look around panicking.

"Esme, it's alright."

I then see Carlisle sitting next to the bed, he stands up.

"Carlisle…" I saw under my breath.

"What?"

"That's your name… Carlisle."

"Yes, yes it is. How did you know?"

"I… I don't know… I guess… I—"

"It's alright, you've been out cold for three days."

"But, I was dead, I know I died. I jumped off the cliff… you were there, you tried to stop me but—…. This is all part of it, I deserved to die—"

"No you didn't, but technically you did die."

"No, I told you I died an—, wait what?"

He stood up and walked to the opposite side of the room.

I continued, "What's going on? Where am I? Give some answers Carlisle, you have no idea how confused I am right now—"

"I'm not sure you can handle answers right now."

"I think I know when I can handle answers!"

I then stopped, my voice… it was different. I got out of the bed; I stood up as my legs began to give out on me.

Carlisle was suddenly by my side catching my fall and helping me stand.

"How did you—?"

He didn't answer.

I shook it off; I then saw a large mirror.

He helped me go to it; I was fascinated by the design. It must have been at least ten years old. The paint was magnificent silver with—

I then saw my reflection in the mirror. I took another look and gasped.

I was… defiantly different. My hair was now a deep auburn, compared to its old plain brown. My body didn't look perfect but a lot better than before, and my eyes…

"What's going on?" I asked emotionless.

"You might want to sit down," I looked in the mirror at him behind me, then I realized. His eyes, they were just like mine…

I sat down next to him on the bed, "This is going to sound unusual, you're probably going to think I'm crazy but—"

"Carlisle…"

"Okay, you see, I'm not… like everyone else here. I have a secret. A secret life I guess you could say."

"Please stop going around the answers Carlisle."

_God why do I keep saying his name?_ It was like I was under some spell. He seemed different than the way he'd been when we'd first met.

He took a deep breath, "Have you ever heard of vampires?"

"Vampires…" I laughed, "Carlisle be serious—"

"I'm very serious, just go along with it please."

"… Yes, only in the stories…"

"What do you know about them?"

"Well, they don't like garlic and silver stakes, they live in dark mansions with coffins and motes," I said sarcastically.

"What if I told you they were real?"

"Dark mansions with motes and coffins?"

"No… vampires."

"I don't know… I guess I'd want proof, but Carlisle, what do vampires have to do with this?"

"Everything."

"Everything?"

"Esme, vampires very much do exist."

"Really? Well where are they?"

"Everywhere."

"What?"

"… I'm a vampire Esme."

_What? Did he just say what I think he said?_

"I'm sorry what?"

"I'm a vampire."

"That's impos—"

He stopped me, "Esme, aren't you wondering why you've changed? Why that fall didn't kill you? Why you're here in the first place? Like I said that night, I've been where you are."

"…Yes…"

"I saved you that night, on the cliffs. I've only saved one other person on my life the way I saved you."

"But you save lives everyday, you're a doctor."

"Not the way I saved you… you see, being a vampire, I have the power to… give life, so to speak, to things. I choose to only use it to save life's of others, while most of our kind use it against humans—"

"_Our_ breed?"

"Yes, _our _breed."

"But… let's just say for a moment that I believe you, that you really are… a vampire," he nodded, " And when you say our breed you mean vampire. Then does that mean…"

"…Yes."

I couldn't speak, _either this guy is some sort of asylum escapee or he was telling the truth._

"So those stories are myths?" I asked.

"Most of them are fabricated from going on about the years."

I then shook my head, "What am I thinking? This is impossible! How do I know you're not—" I stood up again and made it maybe a foot before I fell again.

He caught me in his arms; I gasped slightly from him catching me and realized how cold he was…

"You're… freezing," I mumbled.

"So are you."

My hand was on his chest, and where his heartbeat should be… nothing…

I looked up into his eyes, "How—?"

"It's a vampire thing."

I then immediately went to feel my own heartbeat, but nothing was there, I gasped once more.

"Do you believe me now?" he asked.

He still held me up, and I wasn't protesting…

"I don't know," I mumbled under my breath. I looked into his eyes, he was telling the truth. No lies were there, only love, passion, comfort…

"I understand if you don't believe me, it's a lot for one day. Maybe—"

"You move quicker than I've ever seen, you were on the opposite side of the room and then… here. When I fell again you were by my side. You're freezing to the bone, no one human could live like that. None of it seems real, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I believe you…"

Our eyes met yet again and it was like the earth stopped turning, he was so different, like this was all a dream. I was still getting over the fact that he had to be real…

"Your eyes are… mesmerizing…" I suddenly realized what I'd said, "I mean—"

He laughed lightly, "They're nothing compared to yours."

"I… I—"

A knock then came on the door, we both looked quickly to it.

A young man came in, "Edward," Carlisle said letting go of me, "This is Esme. Esme, this is my son Edward."

"It's nice to meet you," Edward said kindly and shook my hand.

"It's nice to meet you as well," I replied.

"I hope you like it here, it's just been Carlisle and I for a long time."

_Of course! Please! Staying here would be a dream come true!_

"Edward, Esme can chose for herself where she goes. She doesn't have to stay her if she doesn't want t—"

"Oh no, I do. I mean, if I can," I smiled.

Carlisle then smiled brilliantly, _God even his teeth are beautiful_.

"Really?" he asked.

"Of course," I said sweetly as Edward smiled too.

"In that case, maybe you would enjoy a tour of the house," he said sweetly.

"I think I'd like that," I smiled.

I then began walking by myself, "What? How did—? Two minutes ago I could barely stand," I laughed in amazement. I'd never felt more alive…

"It comes with the vampire role," he joked.

I laughed.

I could tell he and Edward wanted a second alone, "Is it okay if I look around for a second first?"

"Of course," Carlisle said as I went out of the room.

It was so unreal: he was freezing cold, yet I felt warm and safe in his arms for the short time I was there. I wanted to fall again just to feel him once more. This felt good, but I was so confused… I want answers, but I think I can wait…

**Carlisle POV**

Esme left the room, I watched her walk out. _She wants to stay? How did I get so lucky? A beautiful woman like that—_

" You can stop panicking now, please. She likes you too," Edward said bluntly.

"Reading my thoughts are okay, I can't control that. But her thoughts, Edward she—… wait, what was she thinking?"

"I thought it wasn't right to read her thoughts?" Edward teased.

I rolled my eyes.

He continued, "I'm not going into details, but she knows you from somewhere—"

"The hospital and the cliffs."

"No before that, but I haven't found out yet."

"Huh."

"But other than that it seems like she likes you just as much as you like her. She couldn't stop thinking about if you were real. She seems like she's been hurt before, but she trust in you for a reason she doesn't know."

I smiled and walked out.

"Carlisle," Edward said. I turned to him. "Do you regret it now?"

_Hell no_, I thought with a smirk on my face. Knowing he could read my thoughts.

He smiled smugly as I went to find Esme. I would give her more answers. I knew she would have more questions. _How she really lived the fall? Why she did not have a single cut or bruise? Why her? _And I knew I'd have to tell her the common things of vampires, our abilities and such…

Maybe I should take some more work off… for teaching purposes of course…


End file.
